u_kill_for_this

u_kill_for_this @ 2005-05-21T23:11:00

2005-05-21T13:29:52Z

This is a poem I had to write for english class. It's based on a book called 'The Lovely Bones' which is about a 14 year old girl being raped and murdered. I had to write it in about 10 minutes and since I had one of the lines from my last poem stuck in my head I ended up using it in this one. I'm not sure which I like better though.

Sink in the soil
Like a lowered coffin
Run your fingertips dry
Pull your hands tight
Plunge it further
Let the blood invade you
Feel the pleasure bite
She screams so pretty
Slide the metal
Time runs quick
As life runs short
Hurry!
Slice!
Slide!
Pain, beauty.
This is the best love you could ever have

*****

This one I wrote on the bus the other day, and seeing as I didn't have my bag with me I had to write it on my hand. I could barely read it when I gpt home but I think I remembered most of it anyway.

My father,
My father is heavy squares and
A sharp slap across the face.
My friend,
My friend is sharp angles and
Bones that stick me like pins.
My mother,
My mother is a sharp jaw and
Sharper words.
But he,
He was soft curves and
The devotion of a best friend.
He was butterfly kisses and
Soft touches in the rain
He was a day of freedom and
The best chocolate milkshake you ever tasted.
He was nervousness and
Shaking fingers and tender lips.
His curves are where I lay to rest.
He was the best distraction and
The only comfort I’ve ever known.

Now that I've read it again it just sounds all whiney and emo. Buggery bollocks! I sent it in a letter to Julie and she called me sobbing saying she missed Daniel too. Now I feel really guilty.

Anyway, I have work at 7:30 and sleep is calling, so nighty night my minions.

u_kill_for_this @ 2005-05-08T22:28:00

2005-05-08T12:37:46Z

Boo! Scared you didn't I? Yer because there are oh-so many of you reading this to be scared......or at least vaguely surprised.

Sooooo.....it's been a couple of months or so since I last posted and the depressing thing is that just about nothing's happened in that space of time. My life is so sad.

Have been on yet another school camp. Lucky me, it was snorkelling this time. If only I hadn't been every year since I was 2 years old. All we saw was rocks and sand. It was so very, very boring. I'd say the highlight of it was when Cameron dropped his pants for everyone to see. Good gracious that boy has a bony ass, he seriously reminds me of my lanky-as twelve year old brother. Definetely NOT a turn-on!

Although the actual camping part of it was fun, which is something i never thought I'd say. Got to talk to pretty Mr. Dale and he's promised to burn me Chuck(because Emma's too lazy), and Tool(because Blake's too lazy). And I think I may have converted him. He who said he hated all emo/screamo music said he wanted me to burn him Taking Back Sunday, Brand New and Box Car Racer. It's such a fullfilling feeling knowing you've changed someone's life. And not only have I expanded someone's musical taste, I have convinced Emma the mormon (if she ever reads that she'll smack me So hard! I was kidding Emma!) that boy-love is hot! I'm so proud!

I finally wrote something yesterday! I have had the worst writers block for AGES and while I'm still deciding whether or not I like it I'm just glad I could get something out without having a very strong urge to punch the computer screen. It came out far too rushed and not at all how I wanted it, but still.....

Anyways here it is, should anyone desire to read it.

Do I dare?

Smell the blood,

Taste the copper.

Please dearest,

Give me this guilty pleasure.

Do I dare?

Pull the metal quick.

Slice the skin

Taste it my love,

Can you taste it?

Do I dare?

Jump the gun my love,

Just pull the trigger

It’s not that fucking hard!

Hurry!

Time runs quick,

Life runs short.

GO!

Taste!

Smell!

Slice!

Hurry!

Do I dare?

I do.

Anyway I'm tired now so I may write soon and fill in the rest of my 2 month long gap. Although I really don't think there's anything else I did except work. However if I remember some odd little tidbit that I may have forgotten to add I WILL.

Nighty Night kidlets.

u_kill_for_this @ 2005-03-13T23:20:00

2005-03-13T12:35:50Z

Hello kidlet's,

Have changed this to friends only which I'm sure will matter ever so much to my myriad of special acquaintances ie. no one. I feel so very very unloved. I feel I should pimp myself out in the hopes that I will eventually have at least a few people who will care if I go on hiatus for a few days as I've just done. But alas...no. *cries in corner*.

I blame stupid Blake for making me change it anyway. Him and his damn curiosity. Although I'm sure he's just a little bit too engrossed in Maggie's journal right now. How he could ever EVER have been with her I don't know. She's short and ugly and and and.....SHE HAS FIVE CHINS!!!!!

...So ignoring Blake (as per usual)

I don't think my ass has ever been this sore. Cannoeing is definetly one of those never again things. And I mean NEVER! So disgustingly tired an sore especially after having to standup for ten hours today and nine yesterday. God I hate my work sometimes (all the time! They are most definetly taking advantage of the cheap labour I provide)But as ridiculously whorish as it will sound it's a great way of perving on guys. There's nothing quite like the thrill of demanding the $7.50 a good-looking guy owes you for his beer and oven-baked meat pies. And I had no idea how many decent looking guys worked at Woolies. Seriously how uber cool would I feel introducing my date as a check-out chick (Although I wouldn't mind if it was James*hint hint*) Although I s'pose it must be better than introducing a dairy fairy eh?*coughBLAKEcough*

So that's my obviously interesting life: canooeing trip (which I was forced on, lest I fail the class) and work. I think I'll just go run the warm bath now!

Later Lovey.Jess

u_kill_for_this @ 2005-03-04T22:45:00

2005-03-04T11:54:41Z

Hello hello my little minions....or whoever's reading this. Figured I should actually put something in this journal so it looks remotley prettier (or so I hope).

Not sure exactly what the hell to put in here but I'm sure the words will come.....

.....Ok words not coming soooooooo..........

Is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.

We paint our sins on the ceiling
I keep them glued to my chest
It keeps me close like a promise kept.

I want to hear you scream you like me better on my knees!

Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit,
You would, kill for this

And all these lines fall short of what I had in mind,
A failed attempt to capsulize a feeling.

Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything.

A laundry list of problems,
Doesn't make you interesting,
And never getting help doesn't make you brave,
Not listening to reason doesn't mean that you have faith

She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head.

K, so yea no words of inspiration but I was at a loss so for the moment these will just have to do. Just some of my favourite lyrics, and if you don't know who they're by then shame on you!